These are my confessions . . .
I yell ” Release the Kracken” when the chocolate escapes, although apparently it tends to avoid “special candies” and doesn’t eat nuts or fruit (see number 4)
- Have contemplated the merits of Candy Crush as a weight loss tool by harnessing the power of aversion to jellies and chocolate
Don’t shop at Wet Seal because one time I choked on a Lemon Head (like give-me-the-Heimlich choking) and they didn’t even stop ringing me up to help.
- Complain that cherries, onions or acorns (chestnuts? Apparently no one knows for sure) are NOT “candy”
- Ruminated about the inconceivability of losing a level with a two sprinkle combo move….
- Salivate at the sound of Hot Tamales rattlin’ in the box
- Like my Peeps a little on the dry aged side (and apparently on Krispy Kremes – Peeps at Sea: May 7, 2011) but not the non-Easter holiday imposter peeps (bats and trees do NOT taste the same)
- Had a few restless nights this week where, when I closed my eyes, I was playing Candy Crush in my third eye chakra
- My parents paid my brother and I 25 cents in 1987 to NOT finish one of those giant lollipops that my grandparents had sent to us; would someone pay me now to not finish my food? J
- LOVED Moon Pies until I ate a moldy one in Vietnam – yes, they can somehow go bad.
“Just when I thought I said all I can say …
See when this stuff goes through be tryna figure out
When, what, and how I’mma let this come out of my mouth
Said it ain’t gon’ be easy
But I need to stop thinkin’, contemplatin'”