Life Boat Thoughts: Help – Do. Don’t Offer.

Why share on my blog? Fight Inertia! Realizing the importance of relationships and that like everything else in life, you reap what you sow. This will also ensure a high level of accountability and internalization as I incorporate it into Odds & Hens. Not sharing because I am good at it, sharing because you deserve it.

What is Lifeboat? And I quote…. “Lifeboat is a movement of people rediscovering great friendships. We’re not a social network or app […] We’re about simple things that work […]for a better path forward.”

  • Get started: CHECKLIST, figuring out who would be in that floating boat
  • Goodies (like a video, manifesto)

Today: Stop asking “how can I help?”

Not too complicated of a message, and if you haven’t offered helped, secretly hoping the receiver will decline, then you must live alone on a desert island, with no volleyballs. Illustrated through vignettes, the charge is to stop just asking to help and just do it. Sure, the thought still counts but the action speaks louder.

So how can you help? Here are some ideas from Lifeboat and My Brain.

  • To get started, think about what you are good at, what are your strengths and how can you give them to others

Example: Chickens and Quilts – if you are sick, sad, or overwhelmed – fresh pretty eggs from happy chickens will hit the spot or perhaps a quilt to be a surrogate hug.

Others: Maybe you are a good cook or even better and picking up frozen Trader Joe entrees. Then do it! Food is always better with or from friends. You should need to ask what they like, they are your friend after all. Just arrange a time and go for it. [Note for future friend references: Hubby gets a sad face at the thought of casseroles……]

  • Just show up (hmmm, that is a core tenets for being a friend). Give them a little of your time, especially if lonely
  • Check in and no – not, on four square Mayor Catfish Corner. Call, email, doorbell, card. I suggest a mix media approach and don’t do what’s easiest for you, but what the friend needs.
  • Red rover, red rover, send Jane Doe right over. Be inclusive, invite your friend out for something specific, not the sometime we should maybe do something……..
  • More tangible: dog sit, babysit, mow their lawn, drop off books to read, fix up a nice flower pot for their home, buy items of their grocery list, chauffeur….

I think it is key is to not confuse helping with solving the problems or spewing advice. Be present, listen and do something helpful, keep your Dr. Phil adages to yourself, unless of course they are funny. Laughing is a good thing.

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