A Friday Confession: Candy

These are my confessions . . .

  1. I yell ” Release the Kracken” when the chocolate escapes, although apparently it tends to avoid “special candies” and doesn’t eat nuts or fruit (see number 4)

  2. Have contemplated the merits of Candy Crush as a weight loss tool by harnessing the power of aversion to jellies and chocolate
  3. Don’t shop at Wet Seal because one time I choked on a Lemon Head (like give-me-the-Heimlich choking) and they didn’t even stop ringing me up to help.

  4. Complain that cherries, onions or acorns (chestnuts? Apparently no one knows for sure) are NOT “candy”
  5. Ruminated about the inconceivability of losing a level with a two sprinkle combo move….
  6. Salivate at the sound of Hot Tamales rattlin’ in the box
  7. Like my Peeps a little on the dry aged side (and apparently on Krispy Kremes – Peeps at Sea: May 7, 2011) but not the non-Easter holiday imposter peeps (bats and trees do NOT taste the same)
  8. Had a few restless nights this week where, when I closed my eyes, I was playing Candy Crush in my third eye chakra
  9. My parents paid my brother and I 25 cents in 1987 to NOT finish one of those giant lollipops that my grandparents had sent to us; would someone pay me now to not finish my food? J
  10. LOVED Moon Pies until I ate a moldy one in Vietnam – yes, they can somehow go bad.

.

“Just when I thought I said all I can say …

See when this stuff goes through be tryna figure out
When, what, and how I’mma let this come out of my mouth
Said it ain’t gon’ be easy
But I need to stop thinkin’, contemplatin'”

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